WILL
Look at me when I’m talking to you Sue.
SUE
I can’t Will, you know why? Because I worry there’s some rare man eating beast lurking within the depths of that curly mane feasting on all the products you marinate your scalp in. Every day it grows bigger and stronger until one day it unleashes its fury. Billions will be devoured, forcing the survivors into hiding where they’ll have to forage for insects and berries to sustain mankind. Your hair is a menace to society and I’m genuinely afraid to stare directly at it.
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